Everyone’s biggest fear is breakup. When you first fall in love, it is so overwhelming you can hardly imagine breakup with that fabulous person. They are your everything. Life is beautiful.
After the “honeymoon period” is over, cracks can begin to appear. I can say that a healthy relationship heals and repairs those cracks, and can become even stronger.
For others, those cracks are the beginning of the end.
There are 9 shocking reasons that cause couples to breakup more than any others. There’s a lot to learn from each and every one of them to prevent the same thing happening in your relationship.
1. It wasn’t love in the first place:
Mistaking lust for love. It’s a bit of a bummer, but it’s almost impossible to stay as madly lustful for someone as most of us are in the first few months of a relationship. Oftentimes (usually young people) think this state of zealous infatuation is supposed to exist forever, and when it doesn’t, they think they’ve fallen out of love. But the thing about relationships is that, over time, they change. You might have less fiery sex , but it’s likely to be deeper and more romantic (dare I say better) than in the early days. And of course, relationships aren’t all about sex, and sex doesn’t equal love.
2. Change in your subconscious criteria:
People fall in love with those who meet a list called the unconscious criteria which is stored in their subconscious minds.This unconscious criteria is not a permanent criteria but it can change with major life events. Suppose that a girl didn’t value honesty and that she loved a man who wasn’t honest. If one day this girl faced a major problem that caused her serious troubles because of the lack of honesty of someone she dealt with. Most probably her subconscious criteria will be updated to include honesty, and the result will be falling out of love because her man no longer matches her criteria.
3. Discovering something new about the person you love:
What if the same girl who values honesty didn’t knew that her man wasn’t honest and then one day she discovered it by coincidence? If honesty wasn’t that important to her then nothing might happen but if she values honesty then most probably she will fall out of love.
Again I am repeating the same advice, don’t associate the loss of passion with falling out of love. Just try to have more understanding of healthy relationships so that you can know whether you are truly falling out of love or not.
4. Your partner became so available:
Many studies have shown that the rules of supply and demand work for relationships as well. The more demanded a person is the more attractive he becomes and vise versa.
Now if your partner became so needy then you might believe that his value went down and so you might become less attracted to him.
5. You get into the habit of telling lots of little lies:
We all get sick of fighting but lying can become a tough habit to break. Maybe you will be mocked ever so slightly for eating the last biscuit. So be it. Fess up to as much as you can and lie as little as possible. This can be difficult but if you do your best you’ll minimise the times, you can be caught out in a lie and preserve the trust in your relationship. That’s the problem with little white lies. Many of them added up can be as damaging as a total whopper so try not to do it.
6. Disloyalty in front of your loved one or in their absence:
Social media is not the place to complain about your partner. In fact I recommend even get out of the habit of complaining about your partner to friends and family, unless it is for a specific reason such as seeking constructive advice. To speak badly about your partner in their absence is not only disloyal, it’s disrespectful. It can be difficult not to join in when friends are complaining about their husband.
7. Letting negative emotions such as jealousy affect your behaviour:
Insecurity is a normal feeling to have when you are so in love you can’t imagine life without your partner. However allowing that insecurity to influence your actions is something entirely different. Insecurity can affect the trust in relationships as well as cause behaviours that are seen as jealousy which have no place in a healthy relationship. In fact this applies to all negative feelings in relationships. It’s normal to feel the feelings but not to act on them.
8. Not respecting each other’s individual wants and needs:
As you grow you change. It’s part of the normal process of life. Some relationships don’t survive these times because they are perceived as someone changing or even “growing apart”. You don’t have to want the same things all the time. You can be really different and enjoy different things and as long as you respect each other’s choices and avoid trying to bend and change each other, you can stay in love forever. You don’t have to love all the same things or enjoy doing all the same things, just enough of them.
9. “I’M ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE ELSE”:
Strange but true. It can be one of the most absurd reasons for a breakup, even after a long-term relationship. This may happen that any one of the duo might develop a sudden liking for someone else, deliberately or accidentally. The reasons behind this hardly matter. What matters is the deteriorating affection and love for the partner as we are attracted towards another person of opposite gender.
Ram Sai Nag